Cold Weather, Traffic & Dog-Walkers = The Bane Of My Existence

I absolutely am being completely serious about this with how much this nonsense is causing me trouble on a daily basis, and how it has actually eternally traumatized me in a way that is affecting me mentally and physically in a very bad way.

I am SICK TO DEATH of this fucking shit.

Even as of yesterday, it started SNOWING AGAIN on April 7th, and today, to wake up to WINDY weather, almost every day of this winter since NOVEMBER has been windy, and 24 Degrees this morning to shock me to the core of my bones.

I had to walk only 15 minutes to go pick something up, and the cold with the wind made my muscular reflex stiff and spastic, almost nearly collapsed on the way home from this shit. Right now I am dizzy and my extremities are numb and tingling.

Every day, when I go to walk outside, I have to brace myself to deal with the cold and this puts me into a sense of heightened alert and nervousness, I notice it gets worse every year I get older, and then to immediately deal with STUPID CARS that come from every which direction to where I can't hardly cross a street.

How people do not see this is ABNORMAL is absolutely beyond me, and this morning, I CURSED profanities very loud at these cars and walked right in the middle of them because it ratcheted my nervous system so much because of how they drive and almost seem to block my ability to even do what I need to do, and it makes me so angry I want to do nothing more than take a baseball bat and smash their windshield and engine and leave them out to die like that as they are nothing but a parade of ants and useless eaters that are a burden on my every day.

I'm so sick of this overpopulated world, and where traffic and noise are an every day occurrence, it's so bad and traumatizing that my heart LITERALLY begins making palpitations the moment I see a car come out of nowhere and turn when it was just clear milliseconds ago.

And it's also a problem with me with dogwalkers. I'm tired of dodging "shit" on the sidewalks, and whenever I see some stupid dog-walker come out or suddenly appear, it interrupted my "stride" and there is nothing more off-putting for me than to have to deal with that, or when a dog-walker is some many steps ahead of me and suddenly has to stop because their stupid dog needs to take a piss or shit.

These things are absolutely a daily nuissance for me, and it gets me so stressed out that I spend a long time recovering from this stress of this bullshit and it makes me dread leaving my house. It really is that bad.

16 Years ago, I used to be able to roam all of these streets and cross any time I wanted nearly, and where there were plenty of bouts of complete silence and no traffic, all to change to what it has today, it is just absolutely unbelievable to me how much has changed in such a short period of time.

Granted, this has been the case decade by decade as well, but in the last 16 or so years, I have never seen the multi-fold increase of cars to the extremity it now exists, and it just boggles my mind how people think that this could possibly go on forever, or even all that much longer.

If there is ever a chance to "manifest" something into my next existence outside of this place, I want to go one on one with Mother Nature. I want to UNALIVE her over and over and over, and bring her back to life again and again only to UNALIVE her again in an endless loop of torture and mayuhem and for it to be an eternal thing for her to experience.