Family Dynamics That Change When A New Family Member Dies

I'm in utter disgust having to bring this up at any rate, but I just want to remind you all if you haven't experienced this yet, outside the fact of things relating to depression or sadness when someone passes away, the amount of stress that occurs from changing family dynamics, becomes absolutely ENORMOUS and ABSURD...

To make a long story short, somebody that has recently passed, someone not even blood-related, and who had not been very well approved or liked in the family is suddenly causing "ripples" because of their spouse trying to re-entangle and integrate family collaborations that were formerly based on disowning someone within the family...

The one thing I notice is that as you get older, these problems become much more severe and catastrophic within family circles, and basically, I have a family member who wants me to put on an "act" and a "new face" around someone after their spouse has died, and to go decades as "water under the bridge" so-to-speak, to make it seem like we just pick up where things left off and that everything is just fine.

It's actually putting a crisis situation in all of the family now, and I really don't want to get too far into the details and drama of it, but this stuff just really makes me sick.

It also makes me despise the "notion" that we are born into an existence where family is a "thing".

Basically, someone in the family is trying to force me into a position where I'd have to put on a poker face forever around some family member for the rest of time that I know them, and may drive a wedge between another section of the family.

So tired of this shit. What are they going to do if I die before them!? That's what I wonder.

I'd probably rather not even know, but then again I wouldn't be here to see it!

This world is getting far too freaky and weird for me in every respect, and no less when it comes to the family and their life choices.

The one thing also that shines through is the fact that no matter how long you know of your family, you never really truly know them.

I've begun to see questionable behaviors, shifts in sentiment or philosophies, and including things that just roll off the mouths of some people in my family that completely show them to be entirely different than who I at least knew or thought them to be.

The thing is, when relationships between couples or married people, or even disagreements that become big in families that drive a wedge or make a grudge occur, these things cannot just be walked back upon.

There is no "forgetting the past", and I cringe with people who want to not discuss past things and try to rekindle things that obviously are not meant to be.

This is why the Human Species is a failed and doomed "thing".

Humans always want to defy principles and logic, even their own instincts or subconscious which led them in the first place to disowning someone or wanting them out of their life... Then they want to pretend that it can all just be ignored and forgiven.

The one thing I can tell you, is that every new death and every new birth in the family of mine, which generally come from a well-to-do background, has become nothing but a disaster and changed the family in ways and the dynamics for the worst, including the choice of whom they married (the younger ones).

There has not been a single birth or death that has not somehow impacted or influenced the family in negative ways and negative directions, and what I mean exclusively has to do with matters that do not involve the mourning over the loss of the family member. But external matters such as money, or things that come out that such and such didn't like about them, or someone now marries someone that they would not have married while their parent was still alive because they know that the parent would not have approved.

I'm just so fucking tired of this shit.

I almost don't recognize the remaining members of my family, and even distant relatives, and the fact that miscegenation has occurred. The effects of it are completely visible, and I live through the echoes of it, even despite my distant relation to them.

None of what these people do in any way resembles anything German or how we used to do things in my family whatsoever. Even recipes aren't done the same, nearly nothing is honored in the way things used to be.

And there is nothing, I mean absolutely NOTHING to talk about with anyone.

In all honesty, total extinction without anyone entangling with new people would have been the best choice over any of this, whether or not there were still any "German stock" left around.

It is part but not entirely the reason I chose not to continue my legacy in this place, but I don't care about legacy from the get-go but that's a whole other story.

It's also times like these that yet again bring Goatis to mind, from the time that Goatis said how the only reason why family seems so close or like your best friends (not saying to me specifically in this situation, but the other family members amongst themselves) is all only because you are used to them.

So the thing is, many family members will act upon the basis of that, whether they realize or not on a conscious level what they are doing. And that makes it all that much worse and more bizarre.

I'm not sure if anyone here relates to what I'm getting at, but I'm really feeling bizarre right now.